I was at Petco last night and bought a bag of dog food. The woman behind me in the checkout line asked if I had a dog.
Why else would I be here and buy dog food?
So impulsively I said, 'No, I do not have a dog. I'm going to start on my Doggy Diet again, which I probably should not do because I ended up in the hospital last time. But, I had lost 50lb. before I woke up in intensive care with a lot of tubes and needles in both arms.
I told her that it was really a perfect diet and all you need to do is load your pockets with doggy dog food, and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and thought maybe I should try again. (I have to mention that virtually all of the other people in line are now happily listening to my story). Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I answered her, "No, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle in the ass and a car ran over me." I thought the guy behind her would have a heart attack, he was laughing so much.
Think about what you ask me, and be prepared for my answer! I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say ...
This little joke was passed along to me via FB and thought you all would appreciate it