Jackassery Junction -- Joke of the Day!

Everything that doesn't fit anywhere else!

Postby Pit♥bull » January 13th, 2009, 10:20 pm

When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was 'a generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder.' (That's the way the police report described it.)

A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said, 'that it looked similar to high grade cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time.' Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: 'Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago.'

The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained.

Scotch taped to the box was this note which said:
Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day.


Pit♥bull
Supremely Bully
 
Posts: 1207

Postby Marinepits » January 13th, 2009, 10:50 pm

:eek1: LMAO
Never make someone a priority in your life when that someone treats you like an option.
User avatar
Marinepits
Proud Infidel
 
Posts: 15621
Location: New England

Postby Jenn » January 13th, 2009, 10:56 pm

:squint: No freaking way!!! lmao
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure....
User avatar
Jenn
undecided
 
Posts: 11382
Location: TX

Postby mnp13 » January 13th, 2009, 11:04 pm

Michelle

Inside me is a thin woman trying to get out. I usually shut the bitch up with a martini.
User avatar
mnp13
Evil Overlord
 
Posts: 17234
Location: Rochester, NY

Postby cheekymunkee » January 13th, 2009, 11:06 pm

Bwahahahah! Hoochie! :D
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Debby
User avatar
cheekymunkee
I Have Your Grass
 
Posts: 28540
Location: Dallas

Postby Pit♥bull » January 14th, 2009, 5:24 pm

LMAO
bitches.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Pit♥bull
Supremely Bully
 
Posts: 1207

Postby pitbullmamaliz » January 14th, 2009, 5:33 pm

:spit:
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
User avatar
pitbullmamaliz
Working out in the buff causes chafing
 
Posts: 15438
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby delilahsmommy » January 14th, 2009, 5:54 pm

lol ok....
some people just dont get it...
and some shouldnt
User avatar
delilahsmommy
Loyally Bully
 
Posts: 574
Location: oshkosh,wisconsin

Postby Klopfer » January 15th, 2009, 9:16 am

What a great story!! Image Image
They say "fighting dogs" grab on and never let go; and it's the truth! Smokey grabbed my heart and never let go.

http://www.schuldig-geboren.de
User avatar
Klopfer
Just Whelped
 
Posts: 67
Location: Germany

Postby ArtGypsy » January 15th, 2009, 9:50 am

mnp13 wrote:http://www.snopes.com/horrors/cannibal/cocaine.asp
:D



I love Snopes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jody
“Hope has two beautiful daughters: their names are Anger and Courage.
Anger that things are the way they are.
Courage to make them the way they ought to be.”----Augustine
User avatar
ArtGypsy
First I Caught Her, Then I Didn't Share My Fries
 
Posts: 946
Location: Eastern Nebraska

Postby Pit♥bull » January 15th, 2009, 9:59 am

ArtGypsy wrote:I love Snopes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jody
I love Snopes toooo, I'm shocked the OP didn't check with them before posting. :| :oops:
LMAO
Pit♥bull
Supremely Bully
 
Posts: 1207

Postby Pit♥bull » January 17th, 2009, 9:13 am



A Real Louisiana Cajun walks into a Texas bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive Texas Cowgirl wearing skin-tight jeans. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The Cowgirl notices he is from Louisiana by his LSU ball cap and asks, "Is your little swamp girl running late?"

"Oh no," he replies, "I just got me dis state-of the-art watch, and was just testing it."

The intrigued Cowgirl says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The Cajun explains, "Dey tell me it use a alpha wave to talk to me, how dey say dat, telepathically."

The Texas lady says, "Oh yeah, what's it telling you now?"

"Well, it say you ain't wearing no panties."

The Cowgirl giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken... you cute little Coon-Ass... because I AM wearing panties!"

The Cajun smiles, taps his watch and says........ "Damnnnn, dis ting's running an hour fass!"


Pit♥bull
Supremely Bully
 
Posts: 1207

Postby pitbullmamaliz » January 17th, 2009, 9:15 am

lol
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
User avatar
pitbullmamaliz
Working out in the buff causes chafing
 
Posts: 15438
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby ArtGypsy » January 17th, 2009, 9:34 am

Too Funny!! 8)
“Hope has two beautiful daughters: their names are Anger and Courage.
Anger that things are the way they are.
Courage to make them the way they ought to be.”----Augustine
User avatar
ArtGypsy
First I Caught Her, Then I Didn't Share My Fries
 
Posts: 946
Location: Eastern Nebraska

Postby Pit♥bull » January 17th, 2009, 9:54 am

:shock:
stool.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Pit♥bull
Supremely Bully
 
Posts: 1207

Postby Jenn » January 17th, 2009, 10:01 am

lol
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure....
User avatar
Jenn
undecided
 
Posts: 11382
Location: TX

Postby pitbullmamaliz » January 17th, 2009, 10:14 am

Bob, you're so silly! rofl
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
User avatar
pitbullmamaliz
Working out in the buff causes chafing
 
Posts: 15438
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby TheRedQueen » January 17th, 2009, 10:15 am

:lol3:
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
User avatar
TheRedQueen
I thought I lost my Wiener... but then I found him.
 
Posts: 7184
Location: Maryland

Postby cheekymunkee » January 17th, 2009, 4:41 pm

LMAO
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Debby
User avatar
cheekymunkee
I Have Your Grass
 
Posts: 28540
Location: Dallas

Postby madremissy » January 17th, 2009, 4:52 pm

:giggle:
User avatar
madremissy
I have a basketball and I'm not afraid to use it.
 
Posts: 3786
Location: meansville, ga

Next

Return to Off-Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users